WOTW: Chrissy Sharma
I don’t want children.
I’m a 25-year-old South Asian woman with big career aspirations and a handful of side hustles, and almost every time I tell someone that I don’t want children, they have something to say about it.
I’ve heard it all – your motherly instincts will kick in eventually. God will look down on you. You won’t have anything to live for if you don’t have kids. You won’t have anyone to take care of you when you’re older. Your husband will want kids – what will you do then? Pregnancy and motherhood are too beautiful for you to miss out on. But kids are SO. CUTE. You need to give your parents grandkids.
These things may or may not be true. But for me, here and now, I do not see myself having children. I see myself excelling in and prioritizing my career well into old age, possibly with a significant other, owning a loft, creating things that help people – art, organizations, and more. I want to travel the world, be able to pick up and go whenever I’d like. We have enough people in the world without my children eating up resources. And have you heard what happens to your vagina? I respect women who choose to have children. They are strong, beautiful, incredible, my sisters. But here’s the thing – having children is a choice. Regardless of your reasons for or against. And as of this moment in time, I don’t want to.
When it comes to feminism, a big goal of that concept for me is women being able to make choices without stigma or judgement around what we “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing. I can choose whether or not I want to have kids. I can choose whether I want to be a doctor or an artist. I can choose to shave my head or grow my hair down to my butt. But at the end of the day it’s up to me – and it’s no one’s job to convince me otherwise.
I currently work a 9 to 5 in municipal government, I do improv, I write, I act, I volunteer, I spend time with my family and friends, I put energy into my mental health. I consider myself a pretty accomplished woman, and this is only the beginning.
I started the @saheliproject as a safe space for women to come together, show their support for one another, and hopefully, make it easier for all of us to fearlessly make our own choices. I volunteer with @jackdotorg to speak up about mental wellness in my community. And I do my best to support and uplift other women.
I hope future female leaders make bold and fearless choices. Because we are all badasses – and we need to tell each other so more often.